1. |
Loving and Losing
01:50
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with you,
i don't have to choose
between loving and losing
i'm allowed to have it all
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2. |
Piggyback
03:10
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i could spend my whole life
in your passenger seat
when you get tired, i'll drive
i'll be whatever you need
you're a stone on a roll
i am moss in the stream
now wherever you go
i pray you might stay a while and gather me
i don't need to dissect that dream
i know exactly what it means
you say i've got a face that always betrays me
i know exactly what you mean
-
i'd be content
to piggyback your plans forever
what will our families say
when we buy land upstate
you'll teach me everything you know about carpentry
and i'll knit you sweaters when it snows
i'm a simple man, i don't need much but my two hands
and some honest work to do
they'll think we've lost it
they won't understand
the people in the woods
tattooing their own hands
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3. |
Anything
02:22
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think i was supposed to be a bird
but some wires got crossed
i wanna sing like a loon
and soar like an albatross
and go anywhere i want
perhaps i was supposed to be a fish
but the gills wouldn't stick around
i see myself moving downstream
through the veins of prince william sound
and i would swim so far
flash a fin in the air wherever you are
anything but this body that i'm in
oh, to be anything but this body that i'm in
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4. |
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if i sing to you, then who's singing to me?
could i be held, must i always be holding?
-
i don't feel wanted by
the road on which i drive
as i try to meet you where you ...
right where you said you'd be
would you go this length for me?
i try to meet you where you are
but it's too far from here
it's always funny to me
the path to him is a one-way street
that i drive to meet you where you ...
where you led me to believe
for once i'd find you waiting for me
i try to meet you where you are
but it's too far
so i've been spinning
i love the way you look in double vision
as you are and as you were
even halloween,
it hasn't felt the same
i can't remember the last time
somebody else painted my face
now all my neighbors are strangers
in canisters and cages
is emptiness contagious?
i've grown to love this time of night
no one but my myself and i
try to meet you where you ...
right where you said you'd be
and there's no one here but me
i tried to meet you where you are
but it's too far
so i've been spinning
i love the way you look in double vision
as you are and as you were
even halloween,
it hasn't felt the same
i can't remember the last time
somebody else painted my face
now all my neighbors are strangers
in canisters and cages
is emptiness contagious?
-
i can't remember why
i was a deer in headlights
you can't remember why
you went our for a drive
i can't remember why
i let you read my spine
you can't remember why
you wanted all my time
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5. |
Murder Ballad
02:55
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said he loved me like a rock
yet he skipped me like a stone
now i'm walking down the railway
and i'm walking on my own
it was only two years ago
he came into my life
and i had no prospects of my own
he said, please be my wife
my mama told me
you're a fool if you deny
good god, you must believe me,
but at first i really tried
did the cooking, did the cleaning
thought i made a lovely bride
but every time i left the house
you bet your ass i'd hear about
how my old man was running around
said he loved me like a rock
yet he skipped me like a stone
now i'm sleeping in a train car
and i'm sleeping all alone
you know how he made me feel
like i can't believe a word that i'm hearing
with my own ears
i can't take the lonely nights
he had the nerve to come home late, smelling like her
and sleeping by my side
so last evening, i was ready
stayed awake, rehearsed my lines
some odd hour of the morn'
i hear him shuffling inside
and though i tried to say my piece
he didn't have the decency
to look me in the eyes
so imagine his surprise when i revealed a paring knife
and i maybe, accidentally, glanced him in the side
5 or 10 or 30 some odd times
i dragged him to the river running high
said he loved me like a rock
but he couldn't leave well enough alone
i'm already three towns over
and he's sinking like a stone
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6. |
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you hate the beach
but i find a way to make it work
'cuz i'm down for anything
your inoffensive best good girl makes peace again
i find it so embarrassing
and i think you made
a point to only call when i was asleep
so i had to wake up to your name
staring at me
call that a rude awakening
now i'm not the same
i barely say a single word that i don't mean
i'm uncomfortably sincere, or i don't speak
you find it so off-putting
but i tried to plant a poem that said i hate you
but it bloomed into a thousand black-eyed susan's
it's a battle i am constantly losing
it's a contest i don't think i care to win
so i hesitate
to bring it up at all, for my own sake
i am not proud of the way that i behaved
those days carved out a piece of me
i'm grateful it's too late
to go back now, all i crave is change
the bright hawks in the sky,
they pay no mind to yesterday
i'm taking notes and learning
how to see it all from space
but i tried to plant a poem that said i hate you
but it bloomed into a thousand black-eyed susans
it's a battle i am constantly losing
it's a contest i don't think i care to win
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7. |
Queen of My Heart
05:08
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i'm working on patience
i'm working on kindness
i do it for you
any time
your highness
queen of my heart
it can get so lonely
in this brave new anthropocene
but i look out for you
and you look out for me
queen of my heart
some people
shut everyone out
but not you
you're always waving me through
on the house
i cherish so fondly
every late afternoon
i wait for you to tire of me
but you never do
when my headaches get stronger
i remind myself nothing matters
i don't care to contribute
i just wanna be near you
queen of my heart
some people
make me beg like a stray
but not you
you're always clearing a place for me to stay
-
in the museum of your childhood room
i'm happy just to
sit and talk with you
i'd buy a ticket
at a window
if i had to
and i'd do it a thousand times
go broke and cut all my ties
it'd probably be just fine
but you'd never ask me to
you always let me through
and it's love because
you'd never ask me to
love because
you always let me through
how could i ever
run away from a world with you in it?
i'll learn to be patient
i'll learn to be kind
it's love because you'd never want me to
love because you'd never ask me to
i'll learn to be patient
and i'll learn to be kind
if it means i can know you
for the rest of my life
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8. |
Fledge
02:58
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the more i know
the less i understand
you're smiling
you tell me you've made other plans
but who would i be
if i held a fledging bird down on the ground with me?
i selfishly
want you to stick around
i selfishly
don't want the world
to find what i've found
but who would i be
if i kept you swimming in the rising tide with me?
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9. |
Bloody Mary
03:10
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i've spent half my life asleep
and the other half in daydreams
i don't even trust my memories
i don't believe i knew you at all
at all
where i once carved my name in concrete
now i'm a stranger
in my hometown
think i made you play bloody mary
you call me creepy
but you don't back down
i'll keep you around
now if i call your name three times into my mirror
will you reappear?
i'm not entirely convinced that you were ever really here
can i believe a gift once given
has been given forever?
regardless where the pieces fall,
regardless how it ends with the giver?
regardless where they fall
now if i call your name three times into my mirror
will you reappear?
i'm not entirely convinced that you were ever really here
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10. |
The Ache
04:06
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can i forgive you
even if you're not sorry?
even if you rarely
think of me at all
what's meant to be
they say will find you
but what's not is going to
sniff you out the same
and who can name
the beasts that lie in wait
in the undergrowth
along each road
that we did not take?
-
i guess we'll never know
still i wait with baited breath
though i feel it in my bones
there's simply nothing left
to tether us together
to keep me in line
last night i wrote a song
i think you would enjoy
i kept it to myself
i couldn't see the point
in bearing all my secrets
to be met with your silence
and had i seen the ending
before it was behind me
would you have turned to face me?
could i have kept you leaving?
but i'm cursed to find the right words
a thousand years too late
it's gone, it is lost
and i will always feel the ache
it's gone, it is lost,
you will never be replaced
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11. |
Don't Try It
01:37
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the pages have been turned
the bridges have been burned
my family saw the flames from the shore
so how would i explain
if i'm going back again?
we'll never be the same as before
nothing new is gonna grow here
the seaside makes for unforgiving soil
and if i keep digging my spade here
i'll be looking at a life of fruitless toil
autumn's turned her back
and winter has no tact
or concern for keeping me alive
when summer saunters in
i'll resist the temptation
to call you up
and talk until we're tired
nothing new is gonna grow here
the seaside makes for rough and wailing winds
but i am married to the ocean
i'm devoted to her depth and her indifference
so i believe in your capacity
to make somebody else happy
but please don't try it out on me
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12. |
Always
04:55
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i have these lovely dreams
of people who treated me
very poorly
i ask her what it means
and she's kind enough to offer me
a reading
she pulls a card of death
and says, it's probably just symbolic
but when it comes to me, it's literal
when it comes to me, it's diagnostic
i am my father's son
so my first reaction is often
to choose anger
although i try to change
i am afraid i will forever
roll that boulder
i did everything right
i made the grade
i put in hard, hard work
and to no one's surprise
it was a lie
it never mattered
-
relax, relax be still
this too shall pass
shall pass, until
-
yes i
worry about it always
the slick wings
the blue jeans
the pyrotechnic parties
yes i
worry about it always
my tentative old age
watery graves
the time that i waste
yes i
worry about it always
yes i
-
need to feel
like a real fucking person
with plans and desires
but everything's all
money, time, attention
and i cannot tell the difference
between what i enjoy
and what i do
just for the sake of saying that i've done it
who's to blame
in this stupid little game we play?
even those who win right now
are gonna feel the loss some day
oh, what a shame
but i can't wait
yes i
worry about it always
yes i
worry about it
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Jess Harkness Beach Haven, New Jersey
Singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist based in New Jersey, USA.
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